I dedicate this article to this unfortunate child:
On my way to work, I spotted a bumper sticker:
"Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty."
At first glance, it seems a warm, uplifting sentiment. In a world filled with random cruelty, what could be more welcome than some unexpected kindness? With all the senseless violence human beings inflict on each other, we can all use a little more beauty in our lives. Who wouldn't welcome anything that can inspire deeds of kindness and beauty -- even if only an expression on a bumper sticker?
The words are sweet. But taken literally, they convey a troubling message.
For what our society needs more of is not random kindness, but sustained and dependable kindness; not senseless acts of beauty, but beautiful behavior that is deliberately cultivated. Of course a random kindness is better than no kindness at all.
The meaning that lurks in the interstices of "Practice random kindness" is that treating others with compassion and decency is something to be done as a lark. That is not a philosophy that promotes kindness as an essential element of good character. It is a philosophy that promotes kindness as a fun activity for a slow weekend.
The Kindness Society offers this on its Web site:
"Random acts of kindness are those sweet or lovely things we do for no reason except that, momentarily, the best of our humanity has sprung into full bloom. When you spontaneously give an old woman the bouquet of red carnations you had meant to take home to your own dinner table, when you give your lunch to the guitar-playing homeless person who makes music at the corner . . . when you anonymously put coins in someone else's parking meter . . . you are doing not what life requires of you, but what the best of your human soul invites you to do."
I am all for spontaneously giving bouquets to old women. Any good deed is to be encouraged, even those done on a whim. But if kindness is merely spur-of-the-moment gestures, if it is "not what life requires of you," why bother? Because it feels good? Then what happens when it doesn't feel good? What happens when it takes a real effort of will -- or a financial sacrifice -- or a significant commitment of time -- to treat someone with kindness and charity?
I brought this up at lunch with my colleagues and one of them had this to say: "Kindness is subjective and can’t be determined by the one responsible for the behavior – true kindness is determined by others."
So I came back to my desk and continued with this article thinking about what I had just heard. I guess an example would do nicely here. Assume a women drops something. I pick it up and hand it back to her. If she says "Thank You" and smiles, then I’ve committed an act of kindness. If she says nothing and walks away, the kindness is negated. Really? Just my opinion, mind you, but I do not agree with that point of view. Kindness is kindness, regardless of whether or not it is acknowledged or appreciated.
Does that define kindness? I remember seeing a video on National Geographic, where a Hippopotamus tries to save a deer calf attacked by a crocodile. Was that an act of kindness? Did the Hippo feel his heart warming up? We will never know I guess.
Ironically, this thought process was set off by a news flash I watched yesterday night. It was about finding the body of a five year old girl, who was allegedly sold into sex slavery, by her mother!!!! Yes, this article is dedicated to that child who looks like an angel to me.
Given the above two scenarios, I am at a loss to understand who the human is.
I like the way The Dalai Lama puts it: "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy.Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
I guess all of us need to occasionally remind ourselves that we are human.
Signing off...
Rajan
